


I'm Ride or Die (But I'm Ready to Crash)

by fraudulentzodiacs



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 06:49:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18889354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudulentzodiacs/pseuds/fraudulentzodiacs
Summary: Michael Guerin and Alex Manes' relationship evolves over two decades of friendship.





	I'm Ride or Die (But I'm Ready to Crash)

**Author's Note:**

> So, this started out as a romcom AU for @bisexualalienblast, and now it’s…this. I did try to give it a romcommy ending though!

_1997_

When Michael Guerin is seven, his mom tells him that they’re moving from Albuquerque to Roswell. Michael only cries when they pull away from the only home he’s ever known, the U-Haul his mom is dragging behind their beat-up station wagon blocking his view as he looked back. Summer’s almost over, so by the time he and his mom get settled into their new house on the outskirts of town it’s almost time for school to start. His mom walks him into the building, handing him off to the counselor with a supportive smile and a tight hug.

“We’ll take care of him, Mrs. Guerin.” The counselor, Mrs. Evans, assured her.

“It’s just Miss.” His mom corrected. “And, please, call me Mara. I’ll see you after school, Michael.”

“You’re going to be in Miss Potts’ class.” Mrs. Evans informed him as they walked down the hall. “You’re lucky, my daughter is in her class and she loves her.”

“You have a daughter?” Michael asked, and Mrs. Evans nodded.

“Yes, I have twins. Max and Isobel.” Michael smiled up at her, thinking how awesome it must be to have a brother or sister.

Sure enough, when they entered Mrs. Potts class, his new teacher guided Michael to an empty seat next to a girl with long blonde hair that she introduced as Isobel. By the time they were released for recess, Isobel had declared that Michael was her new friend and practically dragged him across the playground to the swings, where a group of kids were playing together.

“This is Michael, he’s our new friend.” Isobel stated, her grip tight on Michael’s hand. “This is my brother Max, Liz, Kyle, Maria, and Alex.”

Michael’s gaze landed on the one she called Alex, the smallest of the group with dark hair and eyes. He looked up shyly at Michael, and Michael waved back before letting Isobel pull him toward the swing, ordering him to push her. While Max and Kyle pushed Liz and Maria, Alex hovered nearby, watching them all. Once Isobel was flying higher than the rest of them, Michael pointed to the empty swing next to her and smiled at Alex.

“You want me to push you?” He asked, and Alex seemed to hesitate before nodding, climbing into the seat. Michael pushed him, and it wasn’t long before he heard Alex whooping in delight.

“Thanks.” Alex told him as they walked back to the school building after recess. “For pushing me.”

“We’re friends, right? That’s what friends do.”

“Yeah, friends.” Alex replied brightly, and Michael slung his arm over Alex’s shoulders for a quick hug before they went to their separate classrooms.

_2003_

There’s a familiar ‘tap-tap-tap’ on Michael’s window that drew his attention away from his homework and toward the sound. Alex’s mop of dark hair was visible on the other side, and Michael unlocked the window and pushed it up enough to allow Alex to tumble inside. Alex stayed on the floor, hiding his face from Michael until he crouched down in front of his best friend, grasping his chin and forcing him to look at Michael. The bruise on his cheek was a mottled mess of purples and blues, a cut visible, and Alex hissed and jerked his head away when Michael ran his fingertips across it.

“I’m sorry.” Michael apologized, pulling on Alex’s shoulders until the other boy let him sit him on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

“My dad.” Alex muttered, staring down at his lap as he picked at a string on his jacket. Michael’s breath left him in an angry rush. It wasn’t the first time that Michael had seen bruises on Alex, nor was it the first time that Alex had confessed that they had been caused by his father.

“I’ll be right back.” Michael left his room and stepped out into the hallway, slipping into the bathroom to grab the first-aid kit. He could hear his mom moving around the kitchen, but he made it back to his room without alerting her. Alex was right where he had left him, and Michael pulled the antiseptic and cotton balls, holding Alex’s chin again to keep him still as he cleaned the cut.

“I don’t think you need a band-aid.” Michael told him once the wound was clean. “It’s already mostly closed.”

“Thanks.” Alex whispered, turning his head to face Michael. Michael gave him his best, most reassuring smile as he reached across the space between them to grasp Alex’s hand. Alex leaned over and Michael felt him rest his head on his shoulder. Michael leaned his own head to rest his cheek on top of Alex’s head. He was about to speak when his mom knocked lightly on his door. Alex sprang away from him as if he had been burned, casing his gaze down once again.

“Hey honey, dinner’s…Oh, hi Alex.”

“Hi, Miss Guerin.” Alex replied, still firmly staring at the floor.

“I didn’t know you were here, and how many times do I have to ask you to call me Mara?” Alex didn’t respond, and tensed when his mom stepped further into the room.

“Alex, are you okay?”

“He’s fine, Mom.” Michael stood between his mom and Alex. “Can he stay for dinner?”

Michael watched as his mom peered around him, finally getting a look at the mark on Alex’s face.

“Of course.” She replied gently. “I’ll text your mom Alex and let her know you’re spending the weekend with us.”

“Thank you Miss…Mara.”

_2006_

At Alex’s sixteenth birthday party, Michael enters the backyard hand-in-hand with Maria. Michael had confessed to him weeks earlier that he had developed feelings for their friend, and Alex had encouraged him to ask her out. Michael winked at him as he walked in before he and Maria were accosted by Liz. Alex turned back to Luke, who was telling him a story about Basic Training and Alex was doing his best to seem at least mildly enthusiastic after not seeing his favorite brother for months.

“Guerin’s got a girlfriend?” Luke asked, and Alex followed his gaze to where Michael had an arm wrapped around Maria’s waist.

“Yeah, apparently.”

“You didn’t know?” Luke’s face was full of surprise.

“I knew he liked her.” Alex replied with a shrug.

“And you’re okay with it?” Alex felt his stomach twist with nerves, staring down at his cup.

“Why would I care if Michael has a girlfriend?” Alex replied defensively.

“What about Kyle?” Luke asked, and Alex’s gaze snapped to where Kyle was talking to Max. His stomach twisted again, but this time Alex recognized it for what it was.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Okay.” Luke shrugged, taking a long draw from his beer. Alex stood next to his brother awkwardly for a long moment before he set his drink down and headed off further into the backyard. He climbed up the ladder leading to the treehouse he, Michael, Kyle, and Max had built when they were ten, the space blessedly silent as the party continued beyond him. He laid down on the floor, stretching out with his arms behind his head. Soon, he heard someone coming up the ladder, and Michael’s familiar grunts as he pulled himself up left Alex where he was. He felt Michael stretch out beside him, sighing as he settled down.

“You’re missing your own party.” Michael pointed out.

“Needed a break.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

Alex hesitated. He had always told Michael everything from the moment they had met. He’d been his best friend for nine years, but he was still afraid that one day he’d do or say something that would make Michael hate him, make him walk away.

“I’m gay.” He finally said, his body tense as Michael was silent beside him. He opened his mouth to apologize, to take it back, when Michael finally spoke.

“That’s cool.”

“That’s cool?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s part of who you are right? And you’re one of my favorite people, so whatever you are is cool with me.”

“No one else knows.”

“Your secret’s safe with me.” Michael assured him, and Alex turned his head to face Michael. “But the others would understand.”

“What if I told you that I like someone?” Alex watched as Michael turned his own head, their eyes locking.

“Who is it?” Michael’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Kyle.”

“Kyle has a girlfriend, your friend Liz.”

“I didn’t say I was going to do anything about it.” Alex snapped, returning his eyes to the ceiling. “Not like you did with Maria.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty awesome.” Alex could hear the smile in Michael’s voice, which made him feel lighter.

“She is.” Alex agreed. “I can’t believe she agreed to date a loser like you.” Michael let out an offended squawk and Alex groaned when he felt Michael’s hand swat his chest.

“I’m glad you told me, Alex.” Michael said, sitting up.

“Me too.” Alex agreed, rising to sit next to Michael. “You’re my best friend.”

“Mine too.” Michael wrapped an arm around Alex’s shoulders, dropping a kiss on the top of his head. “Let’s get back to your party.”

_2008_

“Sounds good.”

Alex didn’t turn at the sound of Michael’s voice, focused on getting the notes down on paper before they left him. He stuck his pencil back in his mouth and strummed the chord progression again, nodding when he was sure that he was satisfied.

“How was dorm room shopping with Isobel?”

“I’m pretty sure Mrs. Evans is going to have a fit when she gets the credit card bill.” Michael admitted, pulling out his textbooks for the Bio class he was taking over the summer at the community college. “But I think we got everything.”

“I can’t believe we’re so close to getting out of here.” Alex mused, and Michael hummed in agreement.

“Three weeks and then we’ll officially be UNM students.”

“Liz called me earlier. She and Max will be back on Tuesday.”

“Iz is already planning the welcome home/going away party.”

“Of course she is.” Alex set his guitar down and leaned back against the couch, turning his head to watch Michael. “How is Iz handling all of this change?”

“Good, I think. Better, now that Rosa and Maria are staying too.”

“I can’t believe we’re finally doing it.” Alex admitted. “How long have we been talking about getting out of Roswell?”

“How long have we been best friends?” Michael joked, and Alex chuckled.

“And we did it together.” Michael added, smiling over at Alex.

—

Two months later, Alex is posted up in the corner of a frat party while Michael moved around the dance floor in his own approximation of dancing. Alex smiled as he sipped his beer, not noticing the man walking up to him until he was leaning against the wall next to Alex.

“I haven’t seen you here before.” Alex turned to look at the blonde man, his hair cut short with piercing blue eyes.

“Freshman.” Alex supplied.

“I’m Tyler.” Tyler stuck his hand out, and Alex slipped his hand in his.

“Alex.”

“Nice to meet you Alex. What’s your major?”

“Music Theory.”

“Ah, an artist.”

“Trying to be.” Alex chuckled, his eye catching Michael’s on the dance floor. He waved at him wildly, and Alex shook his head before turning his attention back to Tyler.

“Boyfriend?” Tyler asked, gesturing toward the dancefloor.

“Who, Michael?” Alex’s eyes widened as he shook his head. “No, he’s my best friend since…well, forever.”

“Good.” Tyler replied, leaning in closer to Alex.

“Good?” Alex asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

Seven months later, Alex collapsed face first onto Michael’s bed as the other man studied.

“Rough day?” Michael asked, not looking up from his notebook.

“Ty’re dumf me.” Alex’s voice was muffled by the pillow.

“He did what?” Michael stood up from his desk, coming to stand by his bed. “Why would he break up with you?”

“He said he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship.” Alex turned his head to face Michael, who perched himself on the bed. Alex shifted until his head was resting in Michael’s lap, Michael’s hand coming up to drag his fingers through Alex’s hair. “He could’ve told me before I wasted seven months with him.”

“He was an ass anyway.” Michael grumbled, and Alex turned until he was looking up at him. “You deserve better.”

“Still hurts.” Alex admitted, and Michael nodded. “He also said…”

“What did he say?” Michael pushed, and Alex sat up, crossing his arms over his chest.

“He said he couldn’t compete with you.”

“Compete with me? How?”

“I don’t know!” Alex threw his hands up. “He said that you would always come first for me.”

“Alex…”

“It’s fine. If he’s that insecure because I love my best friend, then I don’t want to deal with that kind of jealousy.”

“I’m sorry.” Michael offered, and Alex scoffed.

“Don’t be, his loss right? Just get me good and drunk.”

_2009_

The summer they were home after freshman year, Alex officially moved into Mara and Michael’s house, refusing to return home now that his mother had left. He was lounging on the couch when Michael came bursting in, and Alex could feel the hurt and anger and sadness coming off of him in waves.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked, making room for Michael on the couch.

“Maria’s dating Rosa.” Michael huffed out as he collapsed on the couch next to Alex.

“What? Since when?”

“A while, apparently. She just didn’t know how to tell me.”

“Are you…okay?”

“Yeah.” Michael nodded, staring at the TV. “Just sucks, y’know. We broke up a year ago, I just…I don’t know, I didn’t think she’d move on so quickly. Especially with Rosa of all people.”

“Because she’s a girl?” Alex asked, tensing.

“Of course not! I don’t care about that. I just kinda always thought we’d, like, find our way back to each other after college or whatever.”

“Maybe that’s the problem.” Alex replied, reaching across the space between them to play with Michael’s curls. “You’re not moving on because you’re holding onto the past. That’s why it hurts that she’s moving on.”

“You know, you don’t always have to be right.” Michael grumbled, twisting until he was resting his head on Alex’s shoulder, nudging his head against Alex’s hand until he was combing through his curls.

“Yes I do. Best friend prerogative.”

For their sophomore year, they moved into a small off-campus apartment, and Alex had never been happier. He’d managed to make a few friends in his music classes, and was playing a regular gig with two of them at a local cafe on Saturday nights. Michael cornered him on his way out a few months after he started playing, his hands stuffed in his pockets and a familiar look of nervousness on his face as he stood in front of Alex.

“I’m dating someone.” He blurted out, and Alex smiled. “I’m bringing them to your show tonight, to meet you.”

“That’s awesome!” Alex replied, setting his guitar case down. “What’s her name?”

“Uh…Jake.”

“Jake? That’s a weird name for a girl.”

“Because he’s not a girl.” Michael’s hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing at it as he looked up at Alex.

“Oh. I didn’t know you…”

“I didn’t either, until him.” Michael replied. “I still like girls, I just also like guys, apparently.”

“That’s…” Alex began, before shaking his head. “That’s great. I can’t wait to meet him.”

Michael’s revelation stuck with Alex through the drive to the restaurant, and the setup, all the way until Michael walked in, a short dark-haired man following closely behind him. Michael waved, and Alex beckoned him over.

“Jake, this is Alex, my best friend. Alex, Jake.”

“Nice to meet you dude.” Jake greeted, sticking his hand out. Alex shook it briefly, nodding his head.

“Nice to meet you too. I have to finish setting up, but I had Lisa hold a table for y’all.”

Alex watched out of the corner of his eye as they sat down, unable to explain the dark, swirling feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was happy for Michael, but he couldn’t shake the feeling of  _wrong_  that consumed him when he watched Jake take Michael’s hand, or when Michael shot him a look of shy affection before turning to face the stage. He’d only had about an hour to cope with Michael’s bisexual awakening, and Alex couldn’t understand why he was struggling with Michael’s truth.

He finished setting up with Mia and Owen, losing himself in the music as they played. His gaze traveled to Michael and Jake, who now had an arm around Michael. He felt that same uncomfortable tugging in his stomach, and he looked away but it still didn’t fade. Mia transitioned into a love song, her melodic voice floating through the cafe as she sang about longing for a love that was just out reach, and when Alex’s eyes met Michael’s he felt as if the floor had disappeared beneath him. He realized with startling clarity what had bothered him about Jake all evening. Michael had been his best friend for as long as Alex could remember, had always seen him as a sort of platonic soulmate - someone he was destined to do life with but never  _be_  with, because Michael was straight. He had never, could never, be an option.

But now, proof that he was an option was right in front of him.

He realized in that moment that Jake felt wrong to him because, if Michael was going to be with a guy, Alex wanted him to be with  _him_.

He was well and truly screwed.

_2010_

Jake didn’t last long, but Michael didn’t seem too torn up about it. He seemed to take his freedom in stride, and Alex did his best to ignore the parade of faces that entered and exited the bedroom across the hall from his. He’d accepted that, somewhere along the way, he’d developed feelings for Michael, but he also knew that he could never act on those feelings. Michael meant too much to him to risk it all on some romantic feelings that would most likely fade with time. Instead, he watched Michael sow his wild oats and met a pre-med student named Chad. Chad was funny, and kind, and Alex found himself falling hard and fast. Even Michael seemed to like Chad, which was a rare occurrence witht he men he dated. Alex found that he was able to compartmentalize his feelings for Michael, lock them away in a secret part of his heart and get back to being his best friend.

“Here.” Chad handed him his breakfast, dropping a kiss on Alex’s lips as he did so. “Michael.” He greeted as the other man entered the room, handing him his own plate as Michael grunted his thanks.

“Coffee” Alex handed a cup to Michael as he walked by before grabbing his own.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us today?” Alex asked as they ate their breakfast.

“Nah, I can’t.” Michael replied between bites. “I need to work another shift at the shop before I head out.”

“I’m excited to see where y’all come from.” Chad reached across the table and squeezed Alex’s hand. “Anything I should know before I get to Roswell?”

“Don’t let the girls overwhelm you.” Michael joked. “Rosa, Maria, and Iz can be a little…intense. Especially when it comes to Alex.”

“Oh, like Iz isn’t weirdly possessive of you?” Alex snapped back.

“Hey, I didn’t say that.” Michael threw his hands up. “But you’ll be fine, Chad. I gotta get to work, see y’all later tonight.”

“See you.” Alex waved, ducking away when Michael ran his hands through his hair playfully as he passed by.

—

“How much further?” Chad asked from the passenger seat.

“Did you seriously just ask me ‘are we there yet?’” Chad chuckled, shaking his head. “About an hour.”

“Cool. Who are we staying with again?”

“Mara, Michael’s mom.”

“Is that where you go when we’re off school?”

“Yeah, I don’t…I don’t talk to my dad. And Mara’s been the closest thing I have to a mom in years.”

“I’m glad you have her.” Chad reached across the console and grasped Alex’s hand. “And Michael. You deserve people who care about you.”

“I have you.” Alex replied, pulling their entwined hands to his lips.

“You do.” Chad agreed. “But Michael is something different.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked as he pulled his hand away and returned it to the steering wheel.

“Come on, Alex. I love you, you know that I do. But you two…”

“Michael is my best friend.”

“I know that, but you want him to be more.”

“No, I…”

“It’s okay.” Chad assured him. “I know that I’m not your forever, and that’s fine. I’m happy with where we’re at now.”

“I don’t deserve you.” Alex admitted after a long moment.

“You deserve more than you think, Alex Manes. I hope you realize that one day.”

“I-”

“Alex, look out!” Chad’s scream pulled Alex’s eyes back to the road, just in time to see a pair of headlights swerve across the highway and into their lane. Alex jerked the wheel, but it was too late and they clipped the oncoming truck. Alex felt the car spin and lift into the air, and he only had time for a moment’s panic before the car crashed to the ground and everything went black.

—

Alex came to slowly, his brain foggy, unaware of anything. He felt a pressure on his hand, and a familiar voice as he floated closer to the surface.

“Alex…come on, come back to me.”

Alex followed the voice until he could finally open his eyes, the lights low on the gray ceiling above him. He turned his head, his entire body screaming in pain despite the obvious pain meds flowing through his veins.

“Alex.” Michael’s voice was flushed with relief, his grip on Alex’s hand tightening. “Hi.”

“Wha…”

“You were in a car accident.” Michael supplied. “A drunk driver crossed the median and flipped your car.”

“Chad?” He managed to ask, and could immediately see the sadness in Michael’s eyes.

“He didn’t…He didn’t make it.” Alex’s breath stuttered, and Michael shook his head. “I’m so sorry Alex.”

Alex tried to sit up, but Michael placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back.

“No, you need to rest.” Michael warned, but Alex’s eyes traveled down to the end of the bed before he could be pushed back, the sheet lying flat where his right leg should be. He felt himself hyperventilating, pushing against Michael’s hand as the other man called for a nurse.

“My leg…” Alex gasped, looking to Michael, who had tears in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry Alex. Please, I’m so sorry.”

Alex watched out of the corner of his eye as the nurse pushed more painkillers into his IV, the rest of his attention on Michael until he was pulled under again.

When he awoke days later, another Guerin was at his bedside, smiling down at him.

“Mom.” Alex muttered, still groggy.

“Hi honey.” Mara replied, resting her hand on Alex’s arm.

“Michael?”

“I made him go home and take a shower. He was pretty ripe.”

“How long?”

“You’ve been in and out for a week. But the doctors say you’re going to make a full recovery.”

“Not full.” He replied, gesturing to the space where his leg used to be.

“You survived, that’s what matters.” Mara insisted. “We would rather have you here like this, than not at all. You’re our family, Alex.”

Alex was released from the hospital a week later. Michael drove him home, Mara waiting with a home-cooked meal and a new bed crammed into Michael’s room.

“Figured you’re tired of sleeping on the sofa.” She shrugged. “This is your home too, after all.”

“Thanks Mara.”

_2012_

“Hey.” Alex greeted as he stepped into the apartment. Michael didn’t answer, lost in thought as he stared at his laptop. “Hello?” He tried again, Michael jumping when he laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, Alex, hey.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just…I got an e-mail from Columbia.”

“You got in?”

“I got in.” Michael replied, his voice thick with disbelief. “I got in!”

“I knew you would.”

Michael jumped up from his seat, wrapping his arms around Alex.

“I’m going to New York.” Michael breathed, and Alex pulled him in tighter. “But, that means…”

“It doesn’t matter.” Alex pulled away to look at Michael. “You’re going to New York, I’m going to LA. But we’ll still be us.”

“We haven’t been apart since we met.”

“Well, we are codependent like that.” Alex agreed, and Michael chuckled. “But we’ll still be best friends, no matter where we are. You’re my family.”

Alex watched as Michael’s gaze intensified, his eyes darting down to his lips and back to his eyes. Alex felt like he couldn’t breathe, frozen in place as Michael’s hands drifted up from his shoulders, up his neck to cup his jaw. He had pushed his feelings for Michael down deep and locked them in a tiny corner of his heart, locked down even more in his grief after Chad’s death and the loss of his leg. Michael drifted closer, freezing a few inches from Alex’s face. Alex closed the distance, crashing his lips onto Michael’s. The moment they connected, Alex felt weak at the knees, clutching Michael’s shirt in his hands as Michael licked into his mouth. Alex titled his head, deepening the kiss as he pushed Michael back into the chair, straddling his legs as he sat on top of him. He pulled away for a moment, watching as Michael slowly opened his eyes.

“Alex…” He began, and Alex shook his head. He ran his hands down Michael’s arms, shuddering as Michael’s hands gripped his waist, pulling him until they were chest-to-chest.

“Shut up.” Alex murmured, kissing him again.

“Bedroom.” Michael pulled away from Alex, pushing him up and off of his lap.

“Yours or mine?” Alex asked, tugging at Michael’s shirt.

“Whichever Is closer.”

When Alex woke up, Michael was still asleep next to him, an arm thrown across Alex’s waist. Alex watched him, his face relaxed in sleep. He reached over and pushed a stray curl away, Michael instinctively leaning into the touch.

“I love you.” Alex whispered, his gut twisting with pain. Michael was going to New York, and he was going to LA. They were going their separate ways for the first time in over fifteen years, and Alex knew Michael. If they started this now, Michael would follow him to LA, would give up his dreams to be with Alex if he knew that’s what Alex wanted.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered again, pulling away from Michael and reaching for his prosthetic. He glanced back at Michael one more time before slipping out of his bedroom.

“Morning.” Michael mumbled as he came up behind Alex the next morning. He wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist and dropped a kiss onto his shoulder, and Alex tensed at the touch. “You okay?”

“We should talk about last night.” Alex turned, sighing as Michael bracketed his arms on either side of him.

“Okay.”

“It was…”

“Amazing?”

“Yeah.” Alex agreed. “But it shouldn’t happen again.”

“What do you mean? Did you not…?”

“Of course I did!” Alex reassured him. “It’s just…there’s a lot of emotions swirling around right now. Graduation is around the corner, we’re going to separate coasts. It just feels like…not a goodbye, but…”

“Yeah, sure.” Michael stepped away. “I get it.”

“Michael…”

“Nah, it’s cool.”

“We’re still friends, right?”

“Always.” Michael assured him, turning away. “I have a lecture soon, I should get to it.”

He walked away from Alex without another word.

_2016_

“Have a good weekend, Mr. Manes!”

“Bye Ellie!” Alex called, tossing his bag over his shoulder as he locked his classroom door.

“Got big plans this weekend?” The art teacher, Rita, asked as she joined him.

“Yeah, two of my friends are getting married.”

“Aw, congrats.”

“Yeah, it’s about time.” Alex replied, smiling. “Max and Liz were high school sweethearts.”

“How sweet.” Rita replied. “Getting the whole gang back together then?”

“Yeah, the whole gang.” Alex’s thoughts immediately went to Michael. He hadn’t seen him in person in more than three years. The last time they had been together, the summer after Michael’s first year of graduate school, everything had been awkward and stilted, to the point where Alex had ended up staying with Maria and Rosa instead of at Mara’s house. When he had moved to Roswell to teach, Michael had begun avoiding the town altogether. But, Mara had told him at their last Sunday dinner that Michael had booked a flight and was coming home.

Alex stopped by his apartment to change before heading for the Wild Pony. Maria, Rosa, Isobel, Jenna, Liz, and Max were waiting, cheers erupting as he entered the bar.

“You two are the only ones who would have your rehearsal dinner in a dive bar.” Alex pulled Liz into a hug. “I’m going to go get a drink.”

“Alex.” A familiar voice reached his ears as he stepped up to the bar.

“Michael.” Alex turned to face him, his chest releasing something at the sight of him.

“Been a long time.”

“Three years.” Alex nodded. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m here for Max and Liz.”

“Of course. I just…it’s good to see you.”

“Look, I don’t want our shit to ruin their weekend, okay? Can we just…I don’t know, ignore the awkward drama between us? Just for a few days?”

“Yeah, okay.”

When Alex returned to the table, Kyle was there waiting. He stood up, leaning over to kiss Alex lightly. What they had was new, fragile, but it was the first time in four years that Alex felt like he was finally moving on from Michael. He felt the tension coming off of Michael in waves from across the crowded table, but he did his best to ignore it. The dinner went on, everyone getting progressively drunker until only he, Jenna, Michael, and Maria were left.

“I should go home.” Alex muttered, resting his head on the table, his voice muffled.

“To Valenti?” Michael asked, and Alex’s head shot up, dizziness overtaking him.

“What?”

“You’re dating him, right?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t.”

“Sure.” Alex pushed away from the table. He was unsteady on his prosthetic, reaching out for Maria’s shoulder, who helped brace him. “I’m calling a taxi.”

“Must be nice, finally landing your first crush.” Michael shot at Alex, Maria and Jenna looking down at their glasses as if they were the most interesting objects they had ever seen.

“What the hell is your problem, Guerin?” Alex snapped.

“Nothing, just making conversation.”

“I have to go.” Alex left the bar without looking back, though he heard Maria slap Michael on the arm and mutter “what the hell” at him.

The next day, the sun was shining brightly as Alex fought his hangover. He, thankfully, only had to show up for the wedding instead of being in the party. Maria was serving as Maid of Honor, while Isobel was Max’s Best Woman. When Alex stepped into the venue with Kyle, he immediately felt eyes on him. He briefly caught Michael’s gaze, and Alex reached for Kyle’s hand, turning them away from Michael.

“Well, don’t you clean up nice.” Mara greeted him at the reception, pulling him into a hug. “Where’s that doctor boyfriend of yours?”

“Dancing with Maria.” He gestured toward the dance floor, where Kyle was twirling Maria effortlessly.

“And why aren’t you dancing?”

“You know why, Mara.” He replied, gesturing down at his leg.

“Well, that won’t stop you from dancing with an old lady.” She held out her hand.

“You’re not old.” Alex replied, taking her hand and leading her to the edge of the floor.

“Old enough to feel old.” Mara placed her hand in Alex’s, swaying slowly.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Thanks, honey.” Mara smiled, stepping away so Alex could twirl her. “Have you talked to him?”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me, Mara.”

“I think you’re wrong about that. He asks about you every time he calls.”

“I’m sorry that I’ve kept him away from here, away from you.”

“You haven’t.” Mara insisted, reaching up to cup his face. “Michael has made his own choices, Alex. I love my son, but he can be a real dumbass sometimes.”

“Mara!” Alex barked out a laugh.

“I’m his mother, I can say that.”

“You’ve never told me what happened between you two at the end of your senior year.”

“It’s…complicated.” Alex’s gaze traveled across the floor, to where Michael was dancing with Isobel. “I messed up.”

“You love him. You always have.” Maria looked at him knowingly.

“Yes.” Alex admitted. “But it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh, honey. Love is all that matters.”

—

“How do you know where I live?”

“Mom told me.”

“What are you doing here, Guerin?”

“Can I come in?”

Alex moved aside, letting Michael in.

“I leave to go back tomorrow.” Michael paced his small living room, running his fingers through his curls. “I couldn’t leave without talking to you.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Us, what happened.”

“It was a long time ago.”

“I know, but…I miss you. I miss my best friend.”

“You’re the one who stopped talking to me.”

“I know.” Michael admitted. “And I’m sorry. I thought we needed a little space, and then a few days turned into weeks and then we didn’t talk for years and I hate it.”

“I hate it too.” Alex stepped up to Michael. “I miss you too.”

“I  _am_  happy for you and Valenti. You deserve someone great. I’m sorry I acted like an ass at the Pony.”

“You always act like an ass, that’s nothing new.” Alex joked, and felt lighter when Michael threw his head back in laughter.

_2019_

“I have something to tell you.” Alex greeted as soon as Michael answered his FaceTime call.

“Hello to you too, Alex.”

“Sorry. Hi Michael. Are you still at the lab?” Alex could spot the plain white walls of Michael’s office at the university.

“Yeah, waiting on some test results before I head home.”

“You know they’ll still be there in the morning, workaholic.”

“Do you give Liz the same hard time that you give me?”

“Liz is on maternity leave and currently not doing any work at all.” He pointed out. “Also, she’s not my best friend.”

“I’ll go home soon Mom, I promise. So, what did you have to tell me?”

“Uh, well…” Alex looked away, nerves returning that had settled while talking to Michael.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Everything’s great. It’s just…Kyle proposed.”

Michael was silent for a long moment, and his face was unreadable through the phone screen.

“That’s…wow, congratulations.”

“Thanks. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. It kind of…I wasn’t expecting it, I guess.”

“You guys have been dating for three years, Alex.”

“I know, I know. I think Max and Liz having Leo has, like, sparked something in Kyle.”

“Baby fever?”

“I have no idea.” Alex admitted, sighing. “Maybe.”

“You don’t sound very excited about this.”

“I am! I love Kyle, I was just surprised, that’s all. We’ve never talked about getting married.”

“Alex, if you don’t want to get married, you should tell Kyle.”

“I didn’t say that.” Alex sighed. “Look, I’m having dinner with Maria and Rosa soon, I better get going. I’ll talk to you later.” Alex ended the call without waiting for Michael to respond.

—

“I was wondering when you would call me.” Mara greeted him, sliding into the booth across from him at the Crashdown.

“Michael told you?”

“He did.” Mara nodded, popping a fry in her mouth. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks.”

“Alex, why aren’t you happier about this? You and Kyle have been together for years.”

“I am happy, I’m just still kind of processing, I guess.”

“Honey, you know I love you like my own son. So I’m going to be honest with you the way I would be with Michael.” Mara waited for him to nod for her to continue, taking a deep breath. “I know that you love Kyle, but I don’t think you’re  _in_  love with him. I think you’ve settled into this relationship with him because you thought it was what you wanted. But is it?”

“I love him.”

“I know you do.” Mara reached across the table. “But I think, if you keep on this path, you’re going to end up breaking both of your hearts. And someone else’s.”

“Mara, it’s over between me and Michael. It took us years to get our friendship back, I can’t - I won’t - wreck that.”

“I’m not going to tell you what to do. But you definitely need to talk to Kyle.”

—

“I can’t do this.”

“I know.” Kyle nodded, resting his arms on his thighs as he stared at Alex. “I knew before I asked, I think.”

“Then why…?”

“I guess I just hoped that I would be enough.”

“Enough? Kyle, what are you talking about?”

“You’ve been in love for years, Alex, but it’s not with me.”

“I do love you Kyle.”

“I know.” Kyle stood up. “I love you too. But we both deserve to be happy.”

“You’re a good man, Kyle.”

“Goodbye, Alex.”

—

“Alex!” A familiar voice called out. Alex whipped around to find Michael entering the Wild Pony.

“Michael? What are you doing here? Why aren’t you in New York?”

“I can’t let you do this.”

“Do what?” Alex asked, his eyes darting around as he saw most of the bar’s patrons staring at them.

“You can’t marry Kyle!”

“Michael…”

“No, let me finish.” Michael grabbed Alex’s hands. “I know that I’m too late, that I’m  _years_  too late, but…Damn it, Alex, I love you. I’ve loved you most of my life. And I know that my timing sucks, but I have to try. I don’t want you to marry Kyle, I don’t want you to marry anyone who isn’t  _me_.”

“Michael, please, let’s…”

“My biggest regret in life is letting you push me away that day. I knew what you were doing, and I let it happen anyway. I should have followed you to LA, I should have…”

Alex threw himself at Michael, silencing him with a harsh kiss. Michael wrapped his arms around him immediately, and Alex vaguely heard Maria whooping behind her. He pulled away, a small smile on his face as he took in Michael’s dazed face.

“I broke up with Kyle three days ago. I couldn’t do it.”

“Why not?”

“Because he knew that I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. That you’re the only person I could ever imagine spending my life with.”

“Uh, literally everyone knew that!” Maria called from behind the bar, her phone up in front of her.

“What are you doing Maria?” Michael asked, his arms still locked around Alex.

“FaceTiming Mama Guerin, obviously.”

_Three months later_

“Morning.” Alex smiled as he felt Michael drop soft kisses up his back, moving higher until he was lying on top of Alex, stretched out across his body.

“Oh my god, you’re so hot, you’re like a furnace.” Alex grumbled, pushing at Michael half-heartedly.

“You love it.”

“I don’t.”

“You do.”

Alex twisted underneath Michael until he could face him, getting a good luck at his sleep-mussed curls and happy smile. He also didn’t miss the lust building in his eyes and the way his hands began to skim Alex’s torso.

“No, we have to meet your mom in an hour Michael.”

“She’ll understand.” Michael argued, and Alex shoved at him as he began to kiss his jaw and neck.

“No, she won’t, she’ll give us hell for being late because of sex and you know it.”

“Hey, we’re newlyweds, she has to cut us some slack.”

“That’s true.” Alex conceded, reaching for Michael’s left hand and bringing it up to his lips, kissing the ring that he had placed there only a week ago. “We can be a little late.”

“I think we’re gonna be a lot late.”

Alex only laughed and brought him down for another kiss.


End file.
